I sip on my green tea as I scroll through TikTok. It’s not a surprise that with every scroll, I see self growth clips on my for you page. I enjoy these clips as they often help me more than my psychologist.
But is it too much? Over time, I’ve picked up an obsessive thought — I feel as though my time needs to be occupied with something productive or beneficial towards my future. There are students starting their businesses, getting a part-time job — and then there’s me. I have a pretty reasonable excuse as to why I haven’t started my first job and mainly for the fact that my parents suggest I focus on studying first. I mention this point often as justification when ‘friends’ question why I can never seem to go out even though I don’t have a job.
It’s not easy being the eldest daughter of a brown household. There may be some who resonate with me and some who just ‘don’t get it’. My responsibilities are far different than the average portrayed student. I’m often responsible for doing household chores and caring for my family as soon as they need me. Sometimes it can be quite a lot of pressure but I’ve learnt to adjust. What hurts the most is when ‘friends’ blatantly state ‘just say no’. I understand their domestic environment and responsibilities are far different than mine but they don’t seem to grasp that in reverse.
It’s great seeing people my age achieve great accomplishments but what I’m trying to teach myself is that it’s also great if I’m able to acknowledge that I’m capable of great things too. Sure I don’t have a job but I can provide great advice and have vast experience in many areas of life. When the time is right, I’ll also achieve more great things. I don’t need to have exceptional grades or a job to prove my worth. My worth is not defined according to what society deems it to be and I’m growing everyday.
Thank you so much for taking your time to read my short article! Stay happy!
-H.M.
